Taking ownership of my own health

I am delighted to present to you all a guest post from fellow scientist, Lyme patient, and dear friend Niamh. In this post she discusses the challenges, as a scientist, of moving away from allopathic medicine in her quest for health and healing.

Niamh is a passionate researcher, writer and soul searcher. She seeks to impart greater understanding of chronic illness and to defy the social stigma which surrounds it.

You can find out more at her website: lymesoul. Enjoy!

A Change in Perspective

​As a scientist, I have always been highly sceptical of any kind of alternative or “holistic” treatment. As a chemist, I have huge faith in the efficacy of pharmaceuticals and, before reaching a life-altering juncture in my illness, my life plan was to design therapeutic drugs. I had been lucky for most of my life to reside on one side of the fence: a far-removed world of Molecule Construction, seeking out new and fabulous structures which could modulate a specific biological response. My mind was occupied with the purely academic side of “making a difference” and gaining recognition in something which might just wipe out some uncontroversial, life-altering disease.  The notion of illness was just that: a notion. A concept which I could conceive of on a purely intellectual basis. I had never felt first-hand the dramatic effects of a life-threatening disease; more specifically, I had never even considered the effects of grappling with an illness for which there was no known cure, little recognition from the established medical community, and consequently little respect for the suffering patient. When Lyme disease shattered my life, or so I believed, I saw only darkness: I was reminded each day of everything I had lost, from my mobility to my own cognitive function and ability to process information. Lyme chose rather indiscriminately and did not care one iota that I was a scientist or that I had a solid life plan. And just like that, I was standing on the other side of the fence, no longer capable of operating in the world of Molecule Construction, feeling utterly abandoned by our allopathic medical community. Just like that, I experienced for the first time in my life, the devastation that disease wreaks; I was the patient for whom I had once aspired to design a life-saving treatment. But now and for the rest of my life, this will no longer be a concept, but rather an earth-shattering reality. It takes time to readjust and to reorient oneself when one has completely lost one’s balance; but I no longer view my disease solely within the context of lack. In fact, there is one truth which I know in the very fibres of my being, a reality which I will own forever:

I will never stop being a scientist.

This disease may slow my path or set obstacles along the way. It may not present a smooth thoroughfare, but my progress will not be impeded. And now, thanks to Lyme, I have experience of both sides of the fence. Now, I feel blessed to know first-hand what it is like to reside in the world of Molecule Construction and in the world of the disabled patient. The difference between then and now is that today I am imbued with an even stronger desire to relieve the pain of those who suffer, often without hope, without a cure for their disease, and without medical recognition. This is not something which Lyme disease robbed from me. This is a gift.

Alternative Approaches to Lyme Disease Treatment 

This new chapter of my life has been somewhat transformative through the empowerment associated with claiming ownership of my own body and its intrinsic capacity to heal. Over the course of ten months, I tried everything within my reach to combat this disease, ultimately discovering the power of a more holistic, naturopathic approach to treatment.

My initial decision was to undertake a treatment protocol which relied heavily upon pharmaceuticals, primarily antibiotics, prescribed by one of the most well-established Lyme specialists in the United States. During this three month period, I deteriorated significantly to the point where I was bed-bound and unable to perform daily tasks. Following a brief period of hospitalisation, during which the complete lack of knowledge surrounding my disease became excruciatingly apparent, I made the radical decision to terminate all pharmaceutical treatments and to seek alternative methods for restoring my health. At this point, the lowest point in my illness, I spent my days researching chronic Lyme disease and any treatments which might potentially provide relief. My research brought me to the Hero and Heroine of my story thus far: Stephen Harrod Buhner, an herbalist specialising in Lyme disease treatment, and Dr Terry Wahls, a physician who reversed her diagnosis of secondary progressive multiple sclerosis through the development of her own targeted nutritional programme  (The Wahls Protocol).

An excellent account by Dr Terry Wahls on how she achieved recovery and the resetting of damaged mitochondria through diet: Minding Your Mitochrondria

Another three months passed by, during which I devoted myself to the self-administration of a tailored Buhner-inspired herbal protocol, in combination with a radical Wahls-inspired nutritional programme designed to reverse immune dysfunction.

During this time, I have observed dramatic improvements in both my physical and mental capacities, I have transitioned from being virtually bed-bound and severely underweight to gaining sufficient strength and stamina to leave the house quite regularly. I have a long journey to full restoration, but I owe these improvements to embracing a new healing paradigm, an approach which might once have confounded me as a scientist. In the absence of knowledge and support of my disease from the allopathic medical community, I have taken ownership of my own body, my own healthcare, and my own intuitive capacity. If there is one thing this journey has taught me so far, it is this:

You know your body better than anyone on the outside.

If you self-educate and become an expert in listening to and hearing your own body’s cues, I am beginning to discover that you can heal physiological damage on a cellular level. For example, I am intrigued by the concept of restoring diminished mitochondrial efficiency using food as medicine, and am enjoying the benefits of increased energy through strict adherence to a ketogenic diet. As scientists, I believe strongly that we must remain open-minded, being willing to make an informed judgement based on empirical results as opposed to being trapped by certain preconceived logic.

​I hope to share more of my experiences relating to herbal medicines and the Wahls-inspired ketogenic diet, but in the meantime, I feel privileged and inspired when others share with me their experiences of becoming executives in the provision of their own healthcare.  Don’t hesitate to contact me…

 

An update on my Lyme journey

It’s been two years since I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and it feels like a good time to write an update on how things are going. Apologies for the long post; there’s a lot to say.

Lyme disease treatment

For those who don’t know, I have been having treatment for Lyme and coinfections at a specialist Lyme disease clinic in Washington DC. The decision to go abroad was a very big one and, obviously, the costs involved in that are pretty huge. But, as everyone in the Lyme disease community knows, there is an unthinkable lack of disease knowledge and awareness in the UK, particularly in the NHS, but even to a lesser extent in the private sector. Receiving treatment in the UK, certainly with antibiotics, is pretty much impossible unless you see the tick, present with a bullseye rash and flu symptoms and have a positive NHS test, and even then, treatment is by no means a given. I had been ill for years with an array of weird symptoms and had already had many bad and, to be frank, abusive interactions with medical professionals, so I knew that seeking private treatment, and seeking it abroad, was the right decision for me.

I have been under the care of this clinic in Washington for about 18 months and boy, it has been a tough road. A couple of months after I started treatment with them, things got really, really bad. My physical symptoms were flaring left, right and centre; I was gaining new symptoms; and, worst of all, I became very severely depressed. I suffered with really bad insomnia and I spent most nights crying about how awful I felt, how much pain I was in, and how I couldn’t see a way out of it all. I felt like my brain and my body were on fire. Me and my boyfriend were recently reflecting on how things were for us at that time, and honestly, I don’t know how either of us coped. He had to deal with me crying, sometimes for hours at a time, knowing there was nothing he could do to make things better. That guy has the patience of a saint.

But 2018 has, on the whole, been a year of slow, steady recovery, which I attribute to several things.

In terms of my Lyme treatment, I have been treating with pulsed antibiotics for 18 months. That means I take several different antibiotics for a set period of time, followed by a period of not taking them. This approach is believed to “trick” the bacteria, which are very good at hiding from the immune system under conditions of threat, for example when antibiotics are present. The breaks in treatment cause the bacteria to come out of their hiding places, at which point we hit them again with more antibiotics. A pulsed approach is also aimed at improving the host’s (i.e. my) immune system in learning to deal with the infection by itself.

I do believe that antibiotics have a part to play in chronic infections and I am sure they are part of the reason why things are improving for me. But I am also increasingly of the belief that recovery from Lyme disease is about more than just kill, kill, kill.

The Gupta programme

In January 2018, I started a “brain retraining” programme called the Gupta programme, which is designed for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromalgia, and other chronic health conditions. In the chronic illness community you’ll often hear people using the phrase “game changer” and for me, the Gupta programme was my game changer.

The overall aim of the programme is to reduce the ongoing fight or flight response that people with chronic illness tend to experience, in order to calm the system and thereby strengthen the immune system and allow the body to heal. It involves several different elements but the core approach is a) a series of techniques to break thoughts that are focused on illness and symptoms (“I’ll never get better”, “I feel so horrendous”, “I can’t cope with this” etc etc), and b) mindfulness and meditation.

This programme was a massive eye-opener for me. When I first started using the techniques, I noticed that I was having negative symptom- or illness-related thoughts ALL. THE. TIME. As in, hundreds of times a day. When I felt ill, the thoughts were about how awful I felt and how long this would last and what might I have done/not done to cause a symptom flare today. When I felt well, the thoughts were about how long it would last, how much I had to do before the next flare came around, and general worry about the illness. Although understandable, these kinds of thoughts serve no purpose other than to increase my stress and anxiety, stimulating the fight-or-flight response and making healing much more difficult.

Within a few weeks of using the programme these thoughts were cropping up much less often and I found that my mental health benefitted enormously, but I also had some huge gains in terms of my physical symptoms. I got a bit lazy with my use of the techniques over the summer but I have started using it in full-swing again, to great benefit. I really believe that this is the key to health and healing for me and that if I continue to use these techniques alongside the other things I am using to both kill the bacteria and support my body, that I will recover.

Meditation, mindfulness & pacing

I have meditated on and off for a long time, but the Gupta programme really helped to show me how important it is for those of us with poor health (and, to be honest, everyone with good health) to take the time to slooooooooow down. I now have a twice-daily meditation practice and whereas in the past meditation could sometimes feel like a chore, it is now something I look forward to each day. (If you are interested to know what meditations I use, I have details of the ones I have found helpful on my new “Resources” page – click here)

As well as sitting down and actively meditating, I am also learning to live more mindfully day-to-day. This is a part of the Gupta programme and this has quite honestly been life changing for me. I never even realised before that I spent every single second of my life rushing. I thought fast, I walked fast, I spoke fast. Cooking dinner – do it quickly. Reading a book – do it quickly. Having a shower – do it quickly. This, my friends, is stressful. It is stressful for the mind and it sure as hell is stressful for the body, especially a body that is trying to heal from years of chronic infection.

This is a part of the Gupta programme that I still struggle with. I have days where I manage to slow things down and other days where I don’t even realise until I get into bed that I’ve been rushing, mentally as well as physically, all day. I will get there, but this is a habit of a lifetime I am trying to change!

Fertility & hormone balance

Ok, this is a biggy and I suspect it will have its own blog post in the near future. For now, let me just say that my 15 years or so of infertility appear to be reversing. At age 27 I had oestrogen and progesterone levels of a post-menopausal woman. I haven’t ovulated once (as far as I know – but I’m pretty certain) since I came off the pill about 4 or 5 years ago. That is, until last month. I ovulated for the first time in ~15 years, just a few months after my 30th birthday. And, my hormone levels are now normal. This is absolutely HUGE and a sign to me that my body is healing, little by little.

Other symptoms that are changing

There are various symptoms that I am slowly losing and it’s nice to actually write this down because often we get so caught up in the symptoms we still have to work on, that we forget how far we have come. I am gradually gaining more energy. I still have crashes, mostly when I have done too much or allowed myself to get stressed. But on my “good” days I now have what I consider to be the energy levels of a normal person. Woohoo!

I sleep about 9 hours a night. This is more than I’d like but a healing body needs a lot of sleep, and I am letting myself sleep as much as I need, as often as I can. Still, 9 hours of solid sleep is so much better than the 1-2 hours I was getting last year.

I am not depressed. In fact, my mood is probably better than it’s ever been and I feel genuinely happy and contented with my life right now, even with the remaining symptoms that I have. There aren’t enough words to describe how amazing that is.

I am gaining weight. When I first started treatment last year I lost a lot of weight, and got down to 7st 10 (108lbs), which is the lightest I’ve been since I was a teenager. Over the last 6 months or so I have been gradually regaining weight and am now firmly within the “healthy” weight range for my height (though a few more pounds for some extra padding would suit me just fine!).

Most of my other symptoms (headaches, fevers, joint pain, muscle pain, swollen glands….) are still there, but are less frequent and/or less severe than they once were.

What does the future hold?

I will soon be going onto a maintenance protocol with my Lyme treatment, which involves lower doses of antibiotics, taken less often (i.e. the “off” periods of the antibiotic treatment get longer and the “on” periods get shorter). I am very much looking forward to this!

I have been doing some pretty extensive research recently into herbal treatments for Lyme disease, as I would like to support my healing longer-term with the use of herbs. I have been reading Stephen Buhner’s Lyme and co-infection books and I have learned so much, they really are fantastic books. I am developing my own herbal treatment protocol and plan to add this in, with the agreement of my Lyme specialist, when I move onto maintenance. The thing that I like most about Buhner’s approach is that it is less focused on killing the infection(s), and more on supporting the body (reducing inflammation and the cytokine cascade, strengthening the immune system, and repairing damage to organs and systems). Also, they’re from plants, which is awesome. I am attending a local “Make your own herbal medicine” course in a couple of weeks which I am VERY excited about.

There is no question in my mind that I will keep using the tools in the Gupta programme to support my continuing recovery, and I really can’t imagine a life without daily meditation and mindfulness.

As I move towards reduced doses of antibiotics, I plan to get my gut microbiome tested. There is a fantastic company that will test your microbiome via a sample (read: poo), to learn what species of bacteria/yeast are under- or over-populated in the gut. They then provide dietary recommendations to optimise your microbiome. Gut health has huge implications for chronic illness (good books on this – The Paleo Approach by Sarah Ballantyne; Gut by Giulia Enders) and I hope that this will help my journey to recovery.

Mostly, though, my future is about continuing to heal and recover by whatever means necessary. I always assumed that health meant being symptom free, and this was initially my goal for treatment. But now, as I am learning more about health and healing, I want to be so much more than symptom-free. I want to be truly healthy inside and out. I want to thrive. And I honestly believe in my heart that I will get to that place, when the time is right.

Thanks so much for reading my blog and listening to my story.

Katie x